*sigh*
Well today was a hard day, and before I go into why I'd like to say that I'm ok now, and feeling really blessed to have people around who care. I actually sort of asked for help for once in my life and was happily greeted with encouragement and support. I guess I better surrender to that action because from what I hear I am going to need it a lot soon.
So yesterday I ate my cereal for breakfast and then brushed my teeth. I seemed to be crunching on something which I thought just might be remnants of my honey bunches of oats, but alas, after running my tongue around my teeth discovered that two of my wisdom teeth are actually starting to crumble away. They are on top so I never even noticed until now that there was anything more going on than all the typical things I read about in my pregnancy books. I expected the bleeding gums and gross taste. Heck I even got an expensive Sonicare tooth brush to help combat the woes of pregnancy mouth.
I wish I could just yank the teeth myself but I shall have to make an appointment with my dentist for next month after Runa is with us. I had been meaning to get them taken care of anyhow, they are tight against my mouth and nearly impossible to clean around. The gum line around both sets (top and bottom) is always inflamed and prone to bleeding.
Then last night I was noticing how every time I went to the bathroom, I would finish and come back downstairs and still feel like my urethra was trying to open up and let a little loose!!! Uncomfortable but nothing new considering my long history being prone to Urinary Track Infections. Well, later on that evening I sneezed and peed myself. Glory, glory, hallelujah, I'm incontinent. No not really, just pregnant, but this really wasn't fun.
I had my last blood test this week, got the results today and low and behold it was WORSE than last time!! It certainly explains the extreme tiredness I have been experiencing yet again. My midwife said I am still safe for home birth but JUST barely so. If I can't stop bleeding after I give birth to her, I don't want to risk a home birth (I'm not that stubborn) but this has been my dream!! I have practically demonized the very idea of a hospital since my time spent in one trying to figure out my UTI woes....so this is not good.
It is certainly easily explained, however. I had run out of my Floravital (a gluten free liquid iron supplement) and because I didn't read the label hadn't been taking it as I was supposed to anyhow (twice a day rather than the once a day I was taking it). I had some samples but was spacing them out and finally was out of those too. I have been eating pretty poorly due to feeling so tired and lazy.
SO, besides sleeping poorly, peeling cracked nipples, groin pain that comes and goes, and everything else I'm dealing with I now have to get my blood vital and strengthened in a matter of at most 4 weeks.
My mantra is that this is all preparing me for the real struggles associated with being a mother. That this is only the beginning and if I learn to surrender to it now and laugh, I will be better off in the long run. I understand I have the right to break down and have a bad day and just cry, and cry I shall! However, I also know that even the hardest of struggles will eventually seem small in comparison to the gifts my daughter will give me.
My love for my baby out weighs all these humiliating bodily actions. They are a part of this journey, meant to shape me into the strong woman my daughter needs me to be. If I learn to laugh at myself, I can teach her not to take herself so seriously that she loses sight of important things in her life. If I learn to ask for help, she will know it is ok to trust people enough to get help if she needs it.
Oh, Runa, you are going to be the greatest love of my life...and I am terrified and excited for it.
<3
Well today was a hard day, and before I go into why I'd like to say that I'm ok now, and feeling really blessed to have people around who care. I actually sort of asked for help for once in my life and was happily greeted with encouragement and support. I guess I better surrender to that action because from what I hear I am going to need it a lot soon.
So yesterday I ate my cereal for breakfast and then brushed my teeth. I seemed to be crunching on something which I thought just might be remnants of my honey bunches of oats, but alas, after running my tongue around my teeth discovered that two of my wisdom teeth are actually starting to crumble away. They are on top so I never even noticed until now that there was anything more going on than all the typical things I read about in my pregnancy books. I expected the bleeding gums and gross taste. Heck I even got an expensive Sonicare tooth brush to help combat the woes of pregnancy mouth.
I wish I could just yank the teeth myself but I shall have to make an appointment with my dentist for next month after Runa is with us. I had been meaning to get them taken care of anyhow, they are tight against my mouth and nearly impossible to clean around. The gum line around both sets (top and bottom) is always inflamed and prone to bleeding.
Then last night I was noticing how every time I went to the bathroom, I would finish and come back downstairs and still feel like my urethra was trying to open up and let a little loose!!! Uncomfortable but nothing new considering my long history being prone to Urinary Track Infections. Well, later on that evening I sneezed and peed myself. Glory, glory, hallelujah, I'm incontinent. No not really, just pregnant, but this really wasn't fun.
I had my last blood test this week, got the results today and low and behold it was WORSE than last time!! It certainly explains the extreme tiredness I have been experiencing yet again. My midwife said I am still safe for home birth but JUST barely so. If I can't stop bleeding after I give birth to her, I don't want to risk a home birth (I'm not that stubborn) but this has been my dream!! I have practically demonized the very idea of a hospital since my time spent in one trying to figure out my UTI woes....so this is not good.
It is certainly easily explained, however. I had run out of my Floravital (a gluten free liquid iron supplement) and because I didn't read the label hadn't been taking it as I was supposed to anyhow (twice a day rather than the once a day I was taking it). I had some samples but was spacing them out and finally was out of those too. I have been eating pretty poorly due to feeling so tired and lazy.
SO, besides sleeping poorly, peeling cracked nipples, groin pain that comes and goes, and everything else I'm dealing with I now have to get my blood vital and strengthened in a matter of at most 4 weeks.
My mantra is that this is all preparing me for the real struggles associated with being a mother. That this is only the beginning and if I learn to surrender to it now and laugh, I will be better off in the long run. I understand I have the right to break down and have a bad day and just cry, and cry I shall! However, I also know that even the hardest of struggles will eventually seem small in comparison to the gifts my daughter will give me.
My love for my baby out weighs all these humiliating bodily actions. They are a part of this journey, meant to shape me into the strong woman my daughter needs me to be. If I learn to laugh at myself, I can teach her not to take herself so seriously that she loses sight of important things in her life. If I learn to ask for help, she will know it is ok to trust people enough to get help if she needs it.
Oh, Runa, you are going to be the greatest love of my life...and I am terrified and excited for it.
<3
Ah you have a similar story to mine.
ReplyDeleteI just finished with the dentist.
And I'm a girl of fears.
Fortunately, my dentist is cute * sweet
and all was painless
<3
best of luck love
love amy ^.^
www.amyflyingakite.com